


The Observer

by aflawedfashion



Category: Defiance (TV)
Genre: Angst, Bisexual Female Character, F/F, Femslash, sex and angst, some kenya/stahma subtext and subtext about what happened to kenya
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-28
Updated: 2019-04-28
Packaged: 2020-02-09 07:22:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,091
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18633490
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aflawedfashion/pseuds/aflawedfashion
Summary: Berlin goes to the NeedWant looking for a night porter when she spots Stahma Tarr and Amanda Rosewater at the bar. Her imagination runs wild with speculation about the nature of their relationship. While she never learns the truth, she does get Stahma upstairs.This is set very early in season 2 - either in an AU where Berlin/Tommy aren't together or in the canon universe if Tommy/Berlin have an open relationship.





	The Observer

Berlin loosened her collar as she strolled through the NeedWant, just another soldier in blue looking for a night porter’s company. Living in a town far away from their friends and family, soldiers filled the bars each night. The Earth Republic was decidedly unpopular everywhere in Defiance except where they kept business booming. The NeedWant was one of the few placed Berlin felt like she belonged. She surveyed the night porters’ inviting smiles and provocative glances, searching for the perfect person to share her bed.

“I love a woman in uniform,” said a cute night porter.

“That’s what you all say.” Berlin looked over his shoulder, unprepared to make her final choice. She could only afford one night porter, and a blonde woman in a short skirt was also making eyes at her, but then he placed his hand on Berlin’s lower back and told her she was irresistible. 

She knew it was all an act, but she nearly asked for his hourly rate anyway until she noticed Stahma Tarr sharing hushed words with Amanda Rosewater as she served her a drink at the bar.  Amanda’s eyes glimmered with secrets from behind her widow’s veil as Stahma’s eyes darted uncomfortably around the room.

Berlin kindly dismissed the night porter, her imagination running wild as Stahma gently brushed her fingertips against Amanda’s hand so lightly that the gesture would seem unintentional to a less observant person. Then Stahma pulled away, pretending as if it never happened. 

Berlin arched her eyebrows with the realization that she had stumbled on a story far more compelling than the fantasies night porters were selling. But something was off about the whole situation, something that caused the hairs on the back of Berlin’s neck to stand on end. Stahma Tarr was utterly captivated by Amanda Rosewater, and Berlin couldn’t fathom why. 

Everyone knew Amanda Rosewater dressed like a prostitute and drank like a pirate, but you couldn’t purchase her affection. She wasn’t for sale. As far as Berlin was concerned, flirting with her was a waste of time, and yet one of the most powerful women in Defiance had her eyes fixed on her like she was Aphrodite after the apocalypse. She could have any woman she wanted, but she chose to fixate on the unobtainable. Berlin knew she wasn’t watching a typical NeedWant fantasy unfold. This was something real. 

She approached them cautiously, trying to remain quiet and unnoticed as she observed their interactions, noting the disparity between Amanda’s carefree aura and the way Stahma held herself as if she carried a great secret. Unfortunately, as soon as Berlin got close enough to hear their conversation, Amanda turned in her direction, and Berlin mumbled under her breath in disappointment.

Despite her disappointment, Berlin gave Amanda a friendly smile and said, “busy day in here.” She had learned long ago that the best way to pretend she wasn’t snooping was to act like she belonged. She gave Stahma the same friendly smile she gave Amanda, paying acute attention to the subtle sadness in her expression. 

“Pays for the wardrobe,” Amanda answered with a bright, genuine smile. Either whatever had bothered Stahma wasn’t a blip on Amanda’s radar, or Amanda was an expert at suppressing her feelings with alcohol.

“Got any gin left?” Berlin asked. 

“Two unopened bottles in the back.”

“Perfect.” Berlin smiled appreciatively. “I’ll have a gin and tonic.”

“Coming right up.” Amanda slapped the bar before leaving to retrieve the gin. 

Berlin reached for her wallet while Stahma remained transfixed by Amanda as she merged with the crowd, the sound of her too-high heels clicking on the wood floors until it disappeared into the music. 

“So what’s the deal with you two?” Berlin asked as she tossed her scrip on the bar.

“There’s no deal with us.” Stahma turned to Berlin with a painfully false smile. “Amanda’s a… friend.” She spat out the word with such force Berlin knew it was a lie. “Nothing more than that.”

“Yeah, right, well, I’ve had friends like that too.” Berlin smiled knowingly. “Trust me, falling for a straight woman never ends well. Cut your losses now.” 

“You are mistaken - finding subtext where there is none.” 

“Oh come on, I see the way you look at her with regret and longing. Something happened between you two, something she has no idea is still killing you.” Berlin smirked, carefully studying Stahma’s face for any sign of the truth. “Let me guess. You were having a good time with her until she fucked you and dumped you for the lawkeeper after she grew bored with her drug-induced late-blooming experimental phase?”

A mix of anger and embarrassment flashed through Stahma’s eyes before she quickly calmed herself. “It’s not like that.”

“Really because she looks at him the way you look at her, and there’s no denying what I saw them doing in the back of this bar last night. I think you want her to be leading you back there, not him.”

“I’ve never had sex with Amanda Rosewater.” 

“But you want to.” Berlin plastered an innocent smile on her face as Amanda returned to prepare her drink.

“Enjoy,” Amanda said, grabbing the scrip Berlin had left as her attention quickly diverted to the rugged man entering the bar. Berlin took a sip of her drink, savoring the refreshing coolness as she watched Amanda’s arm slide around Nolan’s back, her hands exploring his body. Then Berlin shifted her gaze to Stahma who was staring with rapt attention.

As soon as Stahma realized Berlin was watching her, she turned away from the happy couple, a soft pink blush burning against her white skin. 

“No feelings for her, huh?”

“It’s not what you think. Our relationship is… it’s complicated. Events happened that you have no knowledge of.” 

“Like you dealing her illegal drugs?” 

“I cannot confirm or deny anything related to that subject.” 

“Of course.” Berlin reached for her drink. “After all, I am the enemy.”

“You are not my enemy. You’re nobody to me.” 

“Good.” Berlin set her glass on the bar, carefully considering her next words so as not to scare Stahma away. “I’m only here for the two attractive women I saw at the bar, not for any E-Rep business. I have bigger problems than a small-town drug dealer.” 

“Why are you so interested?” Stahma asked. 

“Boredom I guess.” Berlin shrugged. “And well,” she leaned closer to Stahma, “there’s something about older women that’s undeniably attractive. I like to imagine that you’re enjoying yourselves after those drug deals. Maybe she’s paying you in favors, seducing you so hard you don’t even realize you’ve been taken for a ride until her boyfriend returns to town, and you finally understand that she never had any intention of leading you up those stairs to a pretty pink bedroom.”

Stahma let out an uncharacteristically hard, genuine laugh. There was no doubt in Berlin’s mind that most, if not all, of her speculation was bullshit, but it didn’t matter. She wasn’t nearly as interested in the truth as she was in retaining Stahma’s attention.

“Older women.” Stahma stared at Berlin with a hint of suspicion. “How old are you?”

“28,” Berlin replied.

“That’s not so young.” 

“No,” Berlin said. “And how old are you.” 

“Older than you’d know what to do with.” 

Berlin crossed her legs and devoured Stahma’s body with her eyes. “I know more than you think.” 

A wicked smile crossed Stahma’s face that sent Berlin’s heart racing. “So prove it.” 

Berlin moved towards Stahma, their lips hovering on the precipice of a kiss. “I can make you forget all about Amanda.”

“She’s not who I need to forget,” Stahma whispered, her breath warm against Berlin’s skin. 

“So who is?”

Stahma gracefully pulled Berlin's body against her own. “That’s my secret,” she said as she placed a finger under Berlin’s chin, guiding their mouths together. 

Stahma’s kiss was slow and inviting, exactly as she would have imagined a demure Castithan housewife to kiss. Her lips were sweet, her skin warm and soft. 

Berlin lost herself in Stahma’s gentle kiss, almost as if it were her first. New and innocent. Then Stahma’s hand drifted along Berlin’s thigh until it could go no higher, until her fingers teased her through the fabric of her uniform. Berlin gasped at the unexpected, but not unwelcome, gesture. 

Then Stahma pulled away and whispered, “Not yet,” leaving Berlin to catch her breath as she remembered they were in public. 

Stahma rose from her seat, calm and collected as she asked for a key to a room upstairs. The unsurprised expression on the bar tender’s face told Berlin that this wasn’t the first time Stahma had seen the second floor of the NeedWant.

Stahma slid her money across the counter and nodded for Berlin to follow her upstairs.

As they entered the room, Stahma headed for the bathroom, telling Berlin that she’d “be back in a moment,” and giving her a look that told her not to move a muscle.

Berlin stood alone in the pale pink room for what felt like an eternity, desperately trying not to overthink how she had ended up in the NeedWant with Stahma Tarr. She could have paid for neat, uncomplicated sex, but instead, she chose the most complicated woman in the entire town. A million reasons to leave ran through her head, but when Stahma returned in a lacy white garment that left little to the imagination, every one of those reasons vanished from her mind.

Without saying a word, Stahma crossed the room and reached for the top button on Berlin’s uniform, slowly undressing her until she was standing in front of Stahma in her simple black underwear, her pulse racing with anticipation.

Their eyes never met as their lips hungrily pressed together and they fell into bed, their bodies crashing against each other. Berlin savored the warmth of Stahma’s breath, the softness of her lips, the pressure of her tongue as she found release.

Then Berlin pressed Stahma against the bed, eager to prove her experience, proudly watching as Stahma’s eyes rolled back in her head under Berlin’s expert touch.

When they were finished and dressed, Berlin followed Stahma onto the balcony overlooking the bar. Once again, Stahma’s gaze was focused on Amanda Rosewater as she directed a lonely man to a welcoming night porter. 

A twinge of jealousy sparked in the back of Berlin’s mind, but she quickly pushed it aside. She knew better than to think that their hour together meant anything. She knew better than to  _ want  _ it to mean anything. The only mistake worse than falling for a straight woman was falling for a criminal, and Berlin had no intention of ruining her career in the E-Rep over a scandalous affair.

“Do you think she’s happy?” Stahma asked. 

“I’ve seen the posters with her sister’s face on them, but she seems ok.” Berlin watched Amanda pour herself a glass of scotch. “She does drink a lot.” 

“She does,” Stahma said. “What do you know about her?”

“Only that she used to be the mayor, and plenty of people think she still should be.” 

“Yes,” Stahma said. “My estranged husband was a foolish mayor.” 

“So I’ve heard.” A light laugh unintentionally escaped from Berlin’s lips. “For the day he was in office.”

“His temper lost him everything,” Stahma said. “Amanda never would have let the E-Rep take Defiance from her.”

“Probably not. I can tell she’s tougher than she looks,” Berlin said. “Will you ever tell me the truth about you two?” 

“Don’t take it personally.” She glanced at Berlin before returning her gaze to Amanda. “I can’t tell anyone.”

“Not even her?”

“Especially her.” She took a breath, the signs of an internal struggle written on her face. “But thank you for the distraction tonight. I needed that. For a minute I forgot how badly I had destroyed everything.”

Berlin desperately wanted to ask what offense Stahma had committed, but she knew it would be a pointless question, so she said, “The people in this town have an almost unbelievable amount of respect for Amanda. And maybe some of that respect is rose-tinted-nostalgia for the days when Defiance was an independent town, but she sounds like the kind of person who could forgive almost anyone.” 

“I’m beyond forgiveness. Even Amanda Rosewater would kill me for what I’ve done.”

“It can’t be that bad.” A cold shiver ran through Berlin’s body. “She wouldn’t.”

“Maybe not, it’s what I’d do if I were her,” Stahma said. “I deserve no less.”

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Firstly, I would have loved to see Berlin and Stahma hook up in season 2 - as long as Stahma didn't kill or beat Berlin as she tends to do with her lovers. The way Stahma treats her lovers does leave me a bit hesitant to ship her with anyone long term, but Berlin was still an outsider and Stahma was estranged from Datak. It would have been the perfect time. 
> 
> Secondly, there is a fantastic appeal to Stahma and Amanda on the surface that inspired fic very early on in the series before they had even interacted. There's interesting potential between the characters, and they look good together, but three seasons of development made their relationship incredibly complicated. I can't ship it romantically after all that. Stahma's too wicked, Amanda's too good, and Stahma's done too much to hurt Amanda. I can't imagine them together in anything but a complete AU (I mean, their relationship started with Stahma blackmailing Amanda and only managed to get worse from there), so it was kind of fun to write Berlin as a new person in town who doesn't know their history and only sees what makes them shippable without knowing everything that stands between them. This was also the brief period of time where Amanda was giving Stahma a second chance - before she knew Stahma slept with and murdered her sister. It's the only time they were even friendly with each other for Berlin to ever see them interacting.
> 
> That said, while I can't ship them together romantically after everything that happened, Stahma/Amanda is my great Defiance enemy true pairing. I LOVE to watch them hate each other. I love this ETP almost as much as I love a good OTP. I would gladly watch five more seasons of them going up against each other on opposite sides of the law.


End file.
